Back to Reality

As our train pulled into the Aluva station, I felt both a sense of sadness and relief. This really felt like home to me after so many months. However, coming from the Air conditioned train compartment into the hot and sticky summer air, I felt my excitement melt away along with my forehead. By the time I was back to my room, it looked as though I had gotten off the bus at the Periyar for a quick swim.

Despite the perpetual feeling of becoming a puddle on the pavement, the last week has been fun catching up with everyone I have not seen in a few months. Especially the girls at my hostel, who are now themselves getting ready to vacate and move on with their lives away from U.C. College.

You would think that in this sort of heat, no one would dare plan a function. Well, you would be incorrect, as I was, because nearly everyone is getting either engaged or married, or both, during the summer months. So in the past week I have attended two marriages (one in which there were 4 couples married simultaneously) one engagement, and received an invitation for another next week. Can you imagine wearing a sari covered with gold during this heat??!! (Note to self: don't have an indian wedding)

Here are a few thoughts that ran by as I was sweating porfusely, trying to look presentable as the only Madama (a.k.a. white woman) at the stately functions:

What must it be like to get married to someone you MAY have met once or twice? I can't imagine commiting my life to a stranger. Even if your parents planned the match, who's to say that this man will treat you well? I have asked this question to my friends here many times, and they always tell me it's because the family will support you if you marry who they choose. I feel this argument is weak, because I think a family should support you, no matter who you marry . . . and my parents won't disown me if I marry someone they dislike. (Although I want my parents to like who I marry . . . in an ideal situation). Furthermore, most families here would pressure the woman into staying in the marriage, even if the husband was doing her wrong.

They also say there is a greater chance for divorce with "love marriages" (a.k.a. not arranged). However, I think this is a seperate issue. Up until the 1960s in america, divorce was uncommon. It's only with the liberation of women that there has been a move toward divorce. The woman is allowed the freedom to remove herself from a bad situation. As I stated before, the culture and the family would most likely encourage the woman to stay even in a bad relationship, rather than get a divorce.

Despite this, there are happy marriages here. For example, my site supervisor and his wife. They may quarrel at times, just like couples in the U.S., but they have a great love for one another, and a beautiful family. So maybe my mind isn't quite made up yet on the subject, but I will continue to ponder.